Hey, y'all. We're leaving another hectic week and beginning what I'm sure will prove to be another busy one. This last week was full of catching up with friends, making new friends, spending some quality time with my kiddos, recording the podcast, and learning a new skill. On Saturday, I had the opportunity to go to my first-ever rope workshop. Mr. NVT of the K101 team led it. I was the one doing the tying, or the rope top, for the workshop. We covered some basic knots and ties, some simple body harnesses and hip harnesses, and a body cage. While I'm no expert, it was enjoyable to learn a new skill, and I definitely look forward to growing my knowledge in this area. On that note, I wanted to make this week's blog focus a bit more on the kinky side of things and leaning into BDSM-related topics. While I know kink and BDSM play is not for everyone, I think it's an area where we can all at least learn something and perhaps find something new to bring into our intimacy routines and playtime.
#1 Rory's Brainworks
I can not say enough great things about this awesome guy. He is amazing with rope, is an author, is nerdy, is an overall sweet, kind, and great person. He shows tutorials for so many different types of ties on his YouTube channel, and his personality makes it so fun. The single-column tie was the first one we learned at the workshop I attended on Saturday and is one of the most basic ties you need to know when it comes to doing rope work. There are tons of other amazing rope tutorials and people out there, too. Still, I adore Rory for his quirkiness and genuineness in his videos and content across his social media platforms.
#2 BDSM Tests
Perhaps your reading this post today and thinking that you aren't even kinky or into BDSM play. Perhaps you are sitting there not sure what you are into or even where to start. Well, I have some great ideas for you. The three links above are my favorite for identifying your possible kinks or what type you are in the bedroom. I have personally taken all three of these quizzes and many more. Though I will not be sharing my personal results with you all, I can say that out of all the quizzes I have tried; I feel like these 3 do the best job of helping really lead someone towards what may interest them. Maybe you are on the other side of this and have been in the kink scene for a while. If that is the case, it may be time to retake the tests or perhaps take one you've never taken before. Let me know what you guys think if you take the tests and if you take all three, which is your favorite.
Ok, first and foremost, let me preface this by saying that Season 1 of this show was well wrong about BDSM and its representation in a lot of ways. I do highly recommend this show, though, especially for season 2. It is the story of a young dominatrix and her friend she recruits to work with her, and basically, their adventures in their vanilla lives and their working lives in the BDSM scene. There are many stereotypes of BDSM, especially in the first season. Still, due to outcry from the BDSM community, Netflix brought in consultants to make sure the show accurately depicted things. The episodes are super short, you can watch all of season one in about 2 hours, and I believe season 2 is right around 2 and 1/2 hours. If nothing else, it's an interesting glimpse into the world of BDSM. As I said, season 2 really gets you more into the headspace of how the leadership, consent, vetting process, and more work within the BDSM community.
#4 YES, NO, MAYBE List
Similar to a BDSM test, a "Yes, No, Maybe" list is a fun way to see what interests you. It is also an exercise that can be done with a partner or multiple partners. It is an easy way for you to both see what you are both interested in trying, what are possible areas for you to try, and what are areas you should avoid with each other. I am including one that you can download and do as a fun activity with your partner. Or, if going over the results with your partner seems daunting or makes you anxious, reach out to me, and we can go over it together in a session.
#5 K101 NonVanillaTryst Podcast
I know most of you know I am the resident sexologist on the K101 podcast, but I want to share it here in the blog if you have missed it. Every week, twice a week, we tackle various topics related to the kink and BDSM worlds and in a fun way. We laugh and have fun, but we also cover a lot of serious and hard-hitting topics. If you haven't ever checked the show out, some of our most recent shows included: using kink to process sexual trauma, sex and aging, a guide to batting, sugar babies, and so much more. New shows air every Wednesday and Saturday. This Saturday will be a show in honor of Masturbation month, so be sure to tune in.